Death can be exhausting on the surviving members of the family. The process is a complicated one and in this day and age where death is never acknowledge because we use words like passing, or pass instead of died or dead we can camouflage the reality into something little less real.

I for one do not like the words passing of or he passed, it sounds dishonest and disrespectful. This is about the person who died and not about you or your feelings. You are still around and life goes on. He died and is no longer with us but in another world or dimension.

rainbow grill

The Family at the Rainbow Grill in New-York

As far as I know or understand my mother and father entered immortality and that is where they are, I am not there yet.

My siblings and I and the brother-in-law, in this case A.O. are grieving and taking care of the business surrounding death, the paperwork, the taxes, yes the dead must pay Income tax before they leave permanently this world, and all their wordily possessions must be disposed of. It can be overwhelming for the living. I have just returned from Montreal where for the last two days we organized the disposition of my father’s belongings, all I can say it is not easy and can smack you with the hard cold reality of our mercantile world.  We are reminded by various appraisers that if a person cherished an object during his life, that object may not have any commercial value after his death, even if said object is quality and made of fine or precious material and comes from a reputable company. We live nowadays in a world of throwaway, quality does not matter, we are little consumers and nothing else.

The lesson is to put value on people around you and not on things or inanimate objects. People, because of who they are, have real intangible value, objects don’t, they may at best hold sentimental value but even that is finite.

the room

The living room with his empty chair

I will return to Montreal for the final disposition next week and then we can move on to organize a reception for my father has he wished with his friends and family which will be held probably in early October to honour his memory. Many of his friends, in the restaurant and hotel business have offered spontaneously help. I spoke with many of them and they use the word Mentor, my father was their mentor. I was not fully aware of that fact, I was a kid and simply had a passing understanding of what was going on in the Hotel business, I became aware with time that he was a genius at marketing and Public Relations, he won several Awards and was a recognized name in the business. What a wonderful tribute to him from his colleagues and friends and all the hard work he did for so many years (50) in the Hospitality industry in North America and Europe. Another memory to be proud of and to cherish.

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